Surprised? You will be.

The New President has already picked his executive staff.  There were really no surprises – they were all people he had worked with in the IC, and were renowned for their integrity and intelligence.  However, I expect that in the next few years, there will be a few surprises along the way.  What might they be?  Well, here are what I think are the


10. In order to be placed, all candidates must have a mustache.

9. Uses 2013 National Youth Gathering to launch bid to become supreme ruler of the world.

8. Every Issue of Lutheran Witness to feature “Matt Harrison Photo Gallery”.

7. Overcome with the burdens of his office, he forgets he has a new job, and starts giving cows away to random LCMS members.

6. His election.

5. Dan Gard removed from clergy roster after failed coup attempt.

4. CPH starts new “Presidential Fashion” division featuring Khaki Clerical shorts and vests.

3. Synod adopts new name : Lutheran Church – Old Dead Guys Synod.

2. When giving orders to IC staff, ends every sentence with “Bwaaa-Haaa-Haaa-Haaa!”

1.  Dispute resolution done away with.  All future disagreements to be settled by “dueling banjos”.

Of course, after publishing this list, the one unsurprising thing will be a phone call from my District President.  I think he has me on speed dial.


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